It's my birthday


It's my birthday today,
and for some reason that I do not know myself, 
I am feeling a tiny bit sad.

Writing this post, 
accompanied by my own blog song,
brought out all the feelings hidden in me. 

So here's my birthday rant

I met a good friend of mine weeks ago
and she said to me, 
what do you want to achieve by 30 years old? 

And I said, 
I don't know how to put my dreams into words,
but one thing for sure is, 
I have a dream.

Life has been tough,
for me, and for the people around me
And the silence, is deafening
Though there are times I wish to close my ears,
the loud silence kept on bothering me

The biggest challenge for my own self for the past year is, 
to be able to look at the goods of Allah's plans

And I know, I'm still failing at it

I was and still am haunted by my own failures,
as well as the blurry future that I have yet to explore

I want to believe that Your plan is the best plan of all
so Lord, help me please.

I am actually sad with everything's that has been happening
although I kept on saying to people that I'm glad things turned out this way
I am actually still bothered by it

I can't even look at my used-to-be-batchmates in the face
Because I'll feel pathetic

But either way, 
Life goes on...

So Lord, help me to believe in You. 

Dear 24-years-old me, 
Life might not seem clear enough to your eyes,
But they are super clearly written in Allah's plans. 

You just have to believe. :)


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